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Monday, September 14, 2009

losses

Every time that I write it seems that I say it has been a hard week, day, etc. When B was alive and I would make some claim about how the week was so hard, or how something was the worst that I could remember, he would say that I always say that. So maybe I have no ability to judge how hard things are and they seem harder each day than they did the day before. I honestly don't know.
This weekend, we lost another family member, our beloved cat Fido. Fido was 17 years old and a spunky guy to the end. He was riddled with cancer and couldn't eat but still managed to try even though most of the food went in one side of his mouth and then out the other. He was in pain and we made the decision to help him exit gracefully. Somehow the loss accentuated the loss of my husband and I have been tearful since Saturday.
How does one survive all of these losses? As I get older they occur with more frequency and I feel less resilient and able to get past it. So much emotional pain.

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