It is almost a year-and i sometimes push myself to relive certain moments. Painful and sad. But i almost feel that if i push thru the memory i can get to the other side and he'll be waiting. i try hard to feel his presence and imagine that on february 20 2009 life went on as usual after the gym that day. We came home and showered, and went on to errands and other Friday activities. That weekend we would have put up the pictures in his castle-probably having some mild disagreements about where to put this picture or that picture. We would have ended the day, Friday on the couch-watching some stupid show, Bebe laying between us. And we would have had a nice weekend before the frantic pace of the week to come. I did not think it was possible to miss someone so much.
We traveled to Palm Desert this weekend, the kids and I. Hard to be there and remember all the times that Bruce and I had been there. Except my recollections are so fuzzy-hard to pin them down. The only thing with a sharp edge is the pain.