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Thursday, July 22, 2010

coping

I am not doing very well. It may be fatigue or stress or overcommitment. I have no where to go to escape these feelings - no respite, no let up on this feeling of being so overwhelmed by what has turned out to be my life. How did this happen to me? Why did this happen to me? And why can't I move on?

The emptiness is unbearable. And yet, I isolate myself which only contributes to the emptiness. Hard to reach out and let people in. So I busy myself with commitments and then the weight of those commitments are overwhelming. I want to escape but have no where to go. Where is Bruce when I need him so much?

I need a break-but there is no break from the grief. Where would I go? I already have too much solitude - so going to a place that is solitary won't work. If I go to a place with activity, I will be overwhelmed with that. I want to escape my life, and my sadness.

When will these feelings pass?

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