I haven't written for a long time. It is not because the magic pill worked it's magic, or that the doom and gloom is subsiding. I have been traveling and then overwhelmed with my schedule and caring for my injured dog. And missing Bruce something fierce. But that is old news and not something that I felt up to sharing. It is tiresome to whine continuously about the state of my life. Even for me. It has occurred to me that this is not getting any easier. And that it won't get easier any time soon. I will just continue to live each day as well as I can.
I guess too there are really no magic pills. Or therapists that will erase the grief. No activities that will be a permanent distraction. Nothing can help this-and so far time has not eased the distress or sadness that I feel. I just have to keep going.
Last night we had a blackout for about 4 hours and as I was contemplating my state of affairs I missed my husband. We could have had fun with the blackout-eating cold cheese sandwiches, and ice cream as it melted. Lighting candles, wondering how we would get the garage door open in the morning. Instead I was annoyed, a bit worried and sad.