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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Another Widow's Story

I am reading "A Widow's Story" by Joyce Carol Oates. It is not an easy read, as her husband died suddenly and she is totally bereft without him. I am a third into her narration, and she is almost "sleep-walking" through her days, and being helped by kind friends and a variety of medicinal aids. Of course, I can totally relate. What is the most interesting thing about the story is that apparently 6 months after her husband's death she remarried. I read something about her while just beginning to read the book, and she mentions her husband and his name is different that her husband in the book. I was astonished and did some searching on the web. Sure enough, the reviews refer to her wedding and the fact that she does not discuss this in the book.

So-what do I take from this? Am I encouraged that as devastating as the loss of a long time spouse is (she was married 40 plus years to Ray and they were as close as Bruce and I were), there is life after? Am I a bit shocked that she was able to reach out of her disabling reaction to her husband's death to date and remarry within such a short period of time? Is that the healthiest of reactions vs. the long adjustment period that I seem to be having? I guess I again wonder how this all proceeds from here......

What is healthy behavior post spouse death? Is the healthiest thing to create a new life and move forward? Do I wait until I am ready? I am not even sure what that means....

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