I have heard people say that the death of a spouse should not be what defines us. But how can that not be true-such a big part of my life, more than half at this point. How can Bruce's death not be part of who am I now?
My husband's death is what defines me. I awake every morning as a widow-someone robbed of a vital part of my life. I go on with my day and occasionally I lose sight of my widowhood and for a moment, I am again Jill, Bruce's Jill and then I remember.
It has been a major trauma in my life-perhaps the greatest trauma I have known thus far. Ironic then that I am expected to create a new life from the ashes. How does one do this? I am still at a loss and function in a kind of one foot in front of another reality. I know that this is not enough-but how to move past the life I once crafted over so many years.