The last few days I have been thinking so much about the past 2 and 1/2 years without Bruce. My life with him seems further and further away-something that I have blogged about previously. But a piece of me feels missing, a part of my core that will never be replaced. So even though I sometimes have difficulty remembering all that I would like, there is an emptiness that reminds me of my life before.
I wonder too, what my life would be like now with him. We would both be sharing in our first grandchild, and he would be tickled at the experience. I also know that I would be living day to day-somewhat oblivious to my good fortune, that I was still so smitten with my husband of 3 decades. Do we ever really acknowledge and appreciate what we have? I know that I told him that I loved him daily. I rested my hand on his cheek and told him how important he was to me. But I don't think that I ever really understood how his absence would be my greatest challenge. And I try not to do the same with the others around me-to be so caught up in the loss that I do not appreciate and take stock of what I have.