Calling being down in the dumps-"the blues" seems to be a misnomer, at least for me right now. I feel extremely sad-hard to get motivated to do the things that I need to do. I feel as if I am constantly trying to push through a very heavy doorway-and not even anticipating anything good on the other side. Really do want to turn off the phone, not answer the door and just not go out for the remainder.
I am trying though. Even getting out of bed is a major effort - but I am doing it. I am sitting here writing and yesterday even went to the gym. BUT I DON'T WANT TO. There is the constant struggle and I am exhausted just trying to push through it. What is on the other side I do not know.
I am not sure what will make things better. I know that I am irritable and impatient. Life is frustrating and there are too many things to deal with. If I could organize myself, it may be that I can figure out what is important and what isn't. Organizing myself takes effort- and there is not alot of energy to harness for that task.
Maybe I need some assistance-but that also takes some work. Why are things so complicated?