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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

More than the blues

Calling being down in the dumps-"the blues" seems to be a misnomer, at least for me right now.  I feel extremely sad-hard to get motivated to do the things that I need to do.  I feel as if I am constantly trying to push through a very heavy doorway-and not even anticipating anything good on the other side.  Really do want to turn off the phone, not answer the door and just not go out for the remainder.

I am trying though.  Even getting out of bed is a major effort - but I am doing it.  I am sitting here writing and yesterday even went to the gym.  BUT I DON'T WANT TO.  There is the constant struggle and I am exhausted just trying to push through it.  What is on the other side I do not know.

I am not sure what will make things better.  I know that I am irritable and impatient.  Life is frustrating and there are too many things to deal with.  If I could organize myself, it may be that I can figure out what is important and what isn't.  Organizing myself takes effort- and there is not alot of energy to harness for that task.

Maybe I need some assistance-but that also takes some work.  Why are things so complicated? 

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