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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Three Days a Week

The holidays are officially over and it is 2012.  February is just around the corner and I can add another year to my loss.  Three years since Bruce died and my life took a radical turn unto the unknown.  I guess our future is always unknown but I was comforted by thinking I knew the path my life would take and then wham-all bets were off.  I have been dreaming about him again-the dreams where I am confused that he is there but I know that he has died.  Not sure what it all means.

I am trying to take some control of my life and thus the title of this entry "three days a week".  I am reminded of the Beatles song - Eight days a week-but my three days really are not the prelude to a new song or relate to the Beatles.  I believe now in small steps and have begun to think that if I want to make changes in my life-a compromise would be to try and change a behavior for at least 3 days of 7.  Rather than beat myself up for not doing something every day - why not just schedule a change for three days?  So it worked for a bit with running-until I fell while walking my dog and now have a swollen ankle.  I think I can do anything 3 days a week and then the other days I can revert back to my usual behavior.  Eventually I will up it to 4-but as long as I do it for 3 I will pat myself on the back.

So for January at least I am trying to organize a schedule and plan at least 3 tight days of diligent productive work.  I will aim for more - but if I do at least 3 good days-I will congratulate myself.

We will see how this works.