The holidays are officially over and it is 2012. February is just around the corner and I can add another year to my loss. Three years since Bruce died and my life took a radical turn unto the unknown. I guess our future is always unknown but I was comforted by thinking I knew the path my life would take and then wham-all bets were off. I have been dreaming about him again-the dreams where I am confused that he is there but I know that he has died. Not sure what it all means.
I am trying to take some control of my life and thus the title of this entry "three days a week". I am reminded of the Beatles song - Eight days a week-but my three days really are not the prelude to a new song or relate to the Beatles. I believe now in small steps and have begun to think that if I want to make changes in my life-a compromise would be to try and change a behavior for at least 3 days of 7. Rather than beat myself up for not doing something every day - why not just schedule a change for three days? So it worked for a bit with running-until I fell while walking my dog and now have a swollen ankle. I think I can do anything 3 days a week and then the other days I can revert back to my usual behavior. Eventually I will up it to 4-but as long as I do it for 3 I will pat myself on the back.
So for January at least I am trying to organize a schedule and plan at least 3 tight days of diligent productive work. I will aim for more - but if I do at least 3 good days-I will congratulate myself.
We will see how this works.