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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Loneliness revisited

So much to drag me down these days.  The summer always brings back special memories of vacations - especially as I watch all around me plan trips with their significant others.  Plus there is the cleaning out of Bruce's things, the break-up of the first relationship after Bruce (my choice but still sad).  I also witnessed the wedding of my son - the feeling that my children are now very involved in their own lives and not mine is a reminder of my solitaryness. 
I am a bit pessimistic about the future - it is hard to imagine that I will not be alone for the duration.  And I want so much to be okay with this-but in reality I miss waking up next to someone.  I miss having someone to come home to. 
Trying to stay in the moment and have that moment be okay.
Trying to appreciate the sun and the mountains, my friends and my family.

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