It has been a busy month. It started with a fractured foot and has now become an adolescent girls diary.
I have been dating and I have experienced a variety of emotions and experiences. All of it interesting, some of it painful, a few bits of pleasure added in.
What I have been left with is a few thoughts about grief street and the state of the world:
1. The loss prevails. Every relationship or coffee date that disappoints brings me back to the emptiness of the loss and the concern about the future. Even though I struggle to stay in the present, I long for a future that is not solitary.
2. Nothing has changed since I last experienced the dating world. Men are still elusive-they are emotionally unavailable or afraid of commitment - I had hoped that there would be some difference between men in their twenties and men in their 50s and 60s.
3. Dating is still a roller coaster ride and I have never cared for roller coasters.
So I continue to hobble along-need to be emotionally grounded and not so high and low. I am hunting for some mental help or some brand new drug.
And so it continues.