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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Home, continued

I am back-back "home".  It does feel as if this is where I belong.   I guess there is an actual place that I call home.  I am reminded of my trips to summer camp as a child.  I used to bring a hammer and nails with me to camp and the first thing I did to unpack was to hang up some flannel shirts around my bunk.  Even then, I needed some visuals to create my space.  A space my own.  A space that allayed my anxieties and gave me comfort.

I came in Friday night and closed the door and immediately felt the silence.  I still have a hard time coming "home" and having him absent.  Yes, this is home but there is definitely something missing.  True, I am comforted by the familiar-but still remember how it was to come home to him.  And so I spent the day yesterday on the verge of tears.  Hard for me to cry-a door that won't open for me.

So home for me is where I am comforted and also challenged.  Where I gain my strength and where I confront my weakness.

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