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Friday, December 21, 2012

Lonely End of the Year

It has been a rather eventful November and December.  Although Thanksgiving went well,
the day after started a series of events that I am still recovering from.  Long story shortened for the blog-I broke up a dog fight between my dog and my daughter's dog and sustained many hand injuries because of it.  I drove myself to Emergency Department, had stitches, then urgent surgery and hospitalization.  My right hand is still out of commission-and presents problems for writing, driving and typing.  I was on IV antibiotics for awhile and felt awful-now am on oral drugs and am doing better.  It has been a very long month-and the injury left me feeling vulnerable.

And now the holidays.  When I first started dating, I thought that the holidays may be different this year.  I have met a wonderful man but somehow the holidays remain lonely and I am left questioning my expectations and motivations.  What would make me less lonely?  What would a perfect holiday look like?  Of course all of the angst about the time off is further complicated by the fact that it is not even my holiday.  I also feel like such a baby that I am sad and lonely and unhappy.  I want to be able to sail through these experiences with a great attitude-accepting what comes my way and appreciating the good things in my life.

Unfortunately I am sad, and tearful.  But I know that I will get through this and it will ultimately be okay.