Obviously I continue to be challenged by my life on grief street. The landscape of loss is vast, and brings with it all of the issues that follow us throughout our lives. We are colored by our past and it is difficult to shed those things that have shaped us-even if unhealthy, even if we know that we need to move forward.
I struggle with being invisible, with honoring my commitments, with being the best I can be and with taking on too much. In a few weeks I will be acknowledging my 38th wedding anniversary-and the man that knew my foibles and could anticipate the thin ice before I walked on it is gone. It is not that my life is only full of new challenges - it is that the newest challenge is that my life is very singular. Yes there are some new challenges, lots of new challenges, but there are common themes that some of the new challenges can be organized around.
I guess that after years of therapy-I can say that this too shall pass. Bumps in the road are common-especially in my life. Yes, it defines me somewhat-those patches where catastrophe ensues. I do need to move forward-one foot in front of the other.