Long time between posts. Monday, Bruce would have been 59 years old-almost 60, and it struck me and I cried all weekend.
And at this point, the tears came easily, and after a "tear storm"-I did feel better, for a time and then it would start again.
I am surrounded by loss these days. And maybe that is the state of the world for me. My best friend's husband is very sick and it does not look like he will grow old with her after all. We have been friends for decades, and at 15 we sat in a rowboat at summer camp without much to complain about (although we did). Now with childbearing, childrearing, career building behind us-we both contemplated some quality time with spouses after many many years of marriage. Bruce died almost 5 years ago and now Robert is so sick...., so suddenly her life is changing. All hopes for the future - gone.
And there are other losses as well and I am overwhelmed by the weight of them.
I need to work on lifting my head above the rapids approaching and try to feel something beside bereavement.
More tomorrow, I promise.