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Sunday, December 29, 2013

Men behaving badly, part 2

Okay so when I reread my blog it did not scream to me the "men behaving badly" theme enough so I thought I would elaborate.  Since I have been dating, 2 of the men on my "boyfriend" list told me that "they were men" in an effort to provide an excuse for their behavior.  While my husband and I frequently discussed gender issues, he never used his maleness as an excuse to get out of something.  It is both frustrating and interesting to me that I have heard this twice in the past year.  It was said as an excuse for not thinking about my feelings or as a way to explain why deep thoughts are not evident.  Really??? 
In general, men behaving badly is about narcissism.  It is me, me, me.  The men that I have known to behave badly (and this includes the latest feeds from the media), do what they want without regard for anyone else's feelings.  Sometimes the stakes are small, like the hurt feelings that resulted when my man friend informed me that he could not spend time with me because he would miss his cats too much.  But other times they are big big deals-and men behave badly with some severe consequences:
a president's transgressions with an intern, or the ending of a relationship with a long term love.
And so I ask myself-why does this occur?  Aren't men raised by women?  I raised a son and hope that in the future, he won't use the "man card" to get out of something or to do something he wants without regard for anyone else.  Maybe it is time to alert the other side that behaving badly is not to be tolerated.

And on that note-maybe women need to swing the other way-maybe I need to behave badly sometimes too.  Not necessarily to disregard someone else's feelings-but to assert my own needs and wants in the light of another's company.  I usually acquiesce-cause do I really care about which movie I see or what restaurant I eat at?  But I should and I will.......

Let's see what this does for me in the New Year.

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