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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Things that I learned in 2013

So-I have decided that instead of making resolutions (which I will do for the New Year), I will reflect back on things that I learned over the past year.

I make resolutions-frequently.  Usually when things turn out badly or when I suspect that I need to change my behavior in order to accomplish or gain something.  This year-lots of turmoil, lots of bad karma and it is time to turn this around. 

My 2013 education consists of the following lessons and yes, resolutions for 2014:

1. Do not settle for something sorely lacking in what you want.  I did this in a relationship and although I thought it offered me something I needed - it ended badly and I was quite distressed.  I would like to think that in the future that I will pay more attention to the little things (or the seemingly little things that do not quite measure up).  I am good at picking up the big things-like when I am in relationships or friendships where I feel criticized or chided, and I successfully have ended those in the past.  I am not so good at the subtle things-but as I have learned-those things too can do damage over time.

2. Set realistic goals.  I think that often I set my sights on something that I may never have and become a bit too future oriented.  I am going to try and take some small steps.  I am going to try and concentrate on the immediate future and let the long term dreams take shape as they will.

3. Be kind to myself, and leave the ego behind.  Is it enough to try hard and not succeed?  Sometimes it is.  I would like to try and put this in perspective.  How badly do I want to succeed at any one task?  Whose goal is it?  Again, small steps and try not to let context determine my worth.

4. Be moderate, and keep track.  Finances are an issue-so I need to be more discerning about need vs. want.

5. Get a handle on the stuff-get rid of things that no longer have the meaning they once had.  Do I really need to keep all of Bruce's Hawaiian shirts?  No.  Time for these to find new homes.

Well, my list of what I learned has surprisingly turned to a list of resolutions.  But ducks are in the oven and I need to turn them and pierce the skin.  I will give this more thought tomorrow.

Happy New Year?  I hope and will work to make it happen.


  1. Sounds like a good list!

    If you quilt or know someone who does, you might consider making a quilt out of Bruce's shirts. I had one made of Don's and I really like having it. The patches of shirts represent so many good times we had. I don't know if you have children or grandchildren but I've seen memory teddy bears made from favorite shirts so kids will have something special. Hawaiian shirts also make me think of throw pillow cases, too, if any of the colors would work in your house. Getting rid of stuff doesn't have to be all or nothing. Changing function is still healthy progress in widowland.