Well, it happened. Another relationship down the tubes. Not that it was necessarily a good one. Which leaves me to wonder why I stick in there at times when it seems obvious that nothing good will happen if we continue on.
I guess I am lonely and willing to compromise. But to save a bit of pride here, it is not as if I hold on to bad men for the sake of having a companion. They start out great. They are funny and delightful and seem really to be Keepers. It what happens during the course of the relationship-when I decide to continue on and their ardor cools and I realize they would rather be with their cats, their guitar or their TV. Do I seek men who are emotionally unavailable? Are there warning signs that I should pay attention to? What are they? I try not to rule out too many possibilities and so give a few a chance. Is it better to date men who have recently had a relationship? Or those who have children? Or those who live with mom? Hard to know what the rules are-especially at my age.
Everyone tells me it is a numbers game. That sounds fine. I can go into a bookstore and look at all the books and identify some that I like and then further select one. But there is no pain if I choose incorrectly-and it is very easy to put down a book that was not what I thought it was. Not the same with dating. I get emotionally hooked and feel very depressed when things go awry. I am disappointed first and then of course the loss is re-stimulated and then I feel hopeless that there will ever be someone to wake up next to. And finally, because it is a numbers game I need to go out and do it again and hope for a different outcome.
I miss Bruce.