I am sad. Sad and lonely. Bruce is gone, my mom is gone and I am alone in the house. True - I have my wonderful children and grandchildren, my terrific aunt and cousins close by. Is it enough? No-I continue to long for a person to wake up next to, someone who, if in the middle of the night I have a nightmare will hold me and tell me that it was just a dream.
And yet, that one thing remains elusive. So is the answer to try hard not to need it? Or to continue searching for it-even though the changes of getting it seem dim. And as time passes, I continue to be so sad and think about the cumulative losses.